Today at church one of the speakers was talking about the atonement Christ made for us, and how it is implemented in our lives in two ways: repentance and forgiveness.
He said we often talk about how the atonement makes it possible for us to repent, but we don't as often talk about how it also makes it possible for us to forgive.
He said that he served for some time as a Bishop, and what he saw was that it was much easier for people to repent who knew that they had done something wrong, than it was for people to forgive who had been innocent victims of a person's wrongdoing.
He quoted the scripture from the Doctrine and Covenants that says:
Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.
10 I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men. (D&C Section 64 verses 9-1).
This is a very hard doctrine to accept, at times, he said. People will say, "You mean to tell me that if someone rapes or steals or murders and I don't forgive them than I am worse than they?"
He said that in the long run, if we do not forgive, this is actually so -- because stealing or murdering are wrongs that take place in our temporal world and have immediate effects. But if we choose to harbor ill feelings in our hearts towards people forever, essentially it stops our progression. We cannot be made whole because we refuse to allow Christ's atonement to take effect, and so there remains in us the greater sin.
He said that heaven will be filled with people who all have these two things in common: They all have forgiven and they all have been forgiven.
"That's not to say that forgiveness has to happen right away" he said. God understands that forgiveness is a process, and it takes time.
He said that as a Bishop he saw many people who were deeply wronged (such as being cheated on by their spouse), and they had to go through a process that he began to see as very predictable: first shock, and then denial, and then anger, bitterness, confusion, pain, etc... He said that obviously if a husband cheats on his wife she is not expected to say that night, "Alright honey that's okay. I forgive you, no problem." But, he said, we should allow the forgiveness process to take place, and that in time Christ can heal us, and we can all forgive each other of the injuries they cause us.
He also quoted someone else whom I can't remember (and I can't find the quote when I search for it online at the moment, either). But it said something to this effect: "Justice is merciful to the innocent and Mercy is just to the wrong-doer". What he meant when he quoted it is that Christ's atonement covers all of our sins, as well as all of our injuries. Christ suffered to satisfy the demands of justice so that he might show mercy; his sacrifice "balances" the scales of Justice and Mercy. That means that we can have perfect faith that even if we are greatly wronged in this life on earth, we can know that eventually Christ's atonement will compensate for that which has been lost to us, and will also give just consequences for the unrepentant who have wronged us. That makes it possible to freely forgive our brothers and sisters, whatever it is that they have done, because we can simply hand it over to God and know that he will take care of it in the best way.
I just wanted to share those words because they were touching to me today. I've had some wrongs done to me in my life that I still need to forgive people for. I am so grateful to God for his gospel...the "good news", that all will be made right, that everyone in this world who is willing to repent and forgive can return to live with him in peace, and joy, and love, forever.
