Monday, March 18, 2013
Our Deepest Trials
Have you ever been in a place before, where you are struggling, or suffering, and there is no one in the entire world whom you can talk to about it? I've come to think that we all have been, or will come to be there at some point in our lives.
That point where, there is a problem which only you can see, but is encompassing your entire being. Whether it be a hurt, or a sickness, or a mental state, or an emotional pain caused by someone else, or by your own actions...
A loneliness, a loss, a deep heartache, a depression, an addiction, a deep confusion, an obsession.
One or all of these affect us all at some point or another.
I have found myself in these states at various times in my life. First, as a child - feeling I had a problem that I could not reveal, or that I did not know how or whom to turn to.
And now sometimes I find myself in this state again.
Sometimes a deep pain invades us quite unexpectedely, and we are left shocked and helpless in some sort of crumpled heap, unable to lift ourselves up. Sometimes it happens gradually, as we bend to choices which gradually become habits, then addictions. Sometimes our thoughts seem to be our masters, and not we the masters of our thoughts. Sometimes our minds don't seem to be in our own control.
To whom can we turn? When there is no refuge in the world? When there are no answers? When there is no known cure?
There is a place, a person, to which I have always, and will always continue to turn.
Sometimes there is only one balm in Gilead. Sometimes there is only one place we can look for comfort, for direction. Sometimes there is only one person who will understand. Sometimes there is only one direction to look for help.
This is my savior, Jesus Christ.
I love him with all my heart.
Tonight I am so grateful for him, for I know he is bearing me up. Tonight I am so grateful for my faith, for my knowledge that he has always been there for me, that he will continue to be there for me, through whatever trial and hardship - whether internal or external - that I may face.
I know God hears and helps me when I pray. I am so grateful for that. Sometimes the answers come slowly. Sometimes they even come painfully. But I know he answers.
And I pray tonight the answers come quickly. I need God's love and support. I need strength. I need Jesus, my Savior, to care for me now as he has in times of old.
Amen.
That point where, there is a problem which only you can see, but is encompassing your entire being. Whether it be a hurt, or a sickness, or a mental state, or an emotional pain caused by someone else, or by your own actions...
A loneliness, a loss, a deep heartache, a depression, an addiction, a deep confusion, an obsession.
One or all of these affect us all at some point or another.
I have found myself in these states at various times in my life. First, as a child - feeling I had a problem that I could not reveal, or that I did not know how or whom to turn to.
And now sometimes I find myself in this state again.
Sometimes a deep pain invades us quite unexpectedely, and we are left shocked and helpless in some sort of crumpled heap, unable to lift ourselves up. Sometimes it happens gradually, as we bend to choices which gradually become habits, then addictions. Sometimes our thoughts seem to be our masters, and not we the masters of our thoughts. Sometimes our minds don't seem to be in our own control.
To whom can we turn? When there is no refuge in the world? When there are no answers? When there is no known cure?
There is a place, a person, to which I have always, and will always continue to turn.
Sometimes there is only one balm in Gilead. Sometimes there is only one place we can look for comfort, for direction. Sometimes there is only one person who will understand. Sometimes there is only one direction to look for help.
This is my savior, Jesus Christ.
I love him with all my heart.
Tonight I am so grateful for him, for I know he is bearing me up. Tonight I am so grateful for my faith, for my knowledge that he has always been there for me, that he will continue to be there for me, through whatever trial and hardship - whether internal or external - that I may face.
I know God hears and helps me when I pray. I am so grateful for that. Sometimes the answers come slowly. Sometimes they even come painfully. But I know he answers.
And I pray tonight the answers come quickly. I need God's love and support. I need strength. I need Jesus, my Savior, to care for me now as he has in times of old.
Amen.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Dear Father
Dear Father,
I need thy holy hand
To bless me
That I might understand.
I need thy holy heart
To hear my lowly plea,
Which cometh from the depths of me.
I need thy holy hand
To bless me
That I might understand.
I need thy holy heart
To hear my lowly plea,
Which cometh from the depths of me.
Saturday, February 9, 2013
The Holy Spirit
I want to write a little bit today, about something I heard someone say in Stake Conference last week.
He was talking about the Holy Ghost, the voice which inspires us to do good in our hearts, and how it communicates with us. He talked about how it is a very quiet voice, still and small. So in order to hear it, we must take time to silence other things in our lives, in order to listen to it every day. This means actual physical noises as well as other distractions.
The thing that struck me about it was this: There are so many voices in the world. And they are all shouting at us about what we should do, how we should think, and how to spend our time. And the voices of the world actually speak louder than the Holy Spirit's voice. So if we are not actively trying to seek influence from God and his spirit, and actively shutting out other noises in order for us to be able to listen, we are most likely to miss the spirit's subtle whisperings.
I have heard in my mind and felt in my heart this voice many times. It is a whisper in my soul, which comes as a thought or a feeling of rightness, of goodness, or peace. It helps me to know what is right, when I cannot know of myself. It directs me when I do not know which direction to take. It comforts me when I am suffering. Sometimes it comes as a feeling of uneasiness, of warning, of danger. There have been multiple times in my life when I have not heeded the spirit's warnings and have regretted it. And many times when I have heeded its promptings and then been so grateful for its guidance in my life.
I find I hear the voice of the Spirit generally much more clearly just after I have prayed. I think my own direct communication with God opens up the communication line even wider for his Spirit to be able to directly communicate with me.
After hearing the talk at Stake Conference I was inspired to try harder to listen to the Spirit's quiet whisperings. I have felt a surge of help this week through many different personal struggles. I have been very aware of God's quiet strength accompanying me. I am so grateful to him for this great blessing.
He was talking about the Holy Ghost, the voice which inspires us to do good in our hearts, and how it communicates with us. He talked about how it is a very quiet voice, still and small. So in order to hear it, we must take time to silence other things in our lives, in order to listen to it every day. This means actual physical noises as well as other distractions.
The thing that struck me about it was this: There are so many voices in the world. And they are all shouting at us about what we should do, how we should think, and how to spend our time. And the voices of the world actually speak louder than the Holy Spirit's voice. So if we are not actively trying to seek influence from God and his spirit, and actively shutting out other noises in order for us to be able to listen, we are most likely to miss the spirit's subtle whisperings.
I have heard in my mind and felt in my heart this voice many times. It is a whisper in my soul, which comes as a thought or a feeling of rightness, of goodness, or peace. It helps me to know what is right, when I cannot know of myself. It directs me when I do not know which direction to take. It comforts me when I am suffering. Sometimes it comes as a feeling of uneasiness, of warning, of danger. There have been multiple times in my life when I have not heeded the spirit's warnings and have regretted it. And many times when I have heeded its promptings and then been so grateful for its guidance in my life.
I find I hear the voice of the Spirit generally much more clearly just after I have prayed. I think my own direct communication with God opens up the communication line even wider for his Spirit to be able to directly communicate with me.
After hearing the talk at Stake Conference I was inspired to try harder to listen to the Spirit's quiet whisperings. I have felt a surge of help this week through many different personal struggles. I have been very aware of God's quiet strength accompanying me. I am so grateful to him for this great blessing.
Thou art Merciful
I feel to write to my God today,
Who has saved me.
I do not mean from hell,
Or from the grave,
But from the choices I would have made
That would have caused me great pain,
Without His direction.
My God, Thou art merciful.
I feel to write to my God,
Who has shown me a better way
And though right now my road is lonely
And very painful at times
I know he is preparing me
For a greater joy,
For a better life to come.
Oh my God, Thou art so merciful.
Who has saved me.
I do not mean from hell,
Or from the grave,
But from the choices I would have made
That would have caused me great pain,
Without His direction.
My God, Thou art merciful.
I feel to write to my God,
Who has shown me a better way
And though right now my road is lonely
And very painful at times
I know he is preparing me
For a greater joy,
For a better life to come.
Oh my God, Thou art so merciful.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
When toward bitter winds
When toward bitter winds I face,
I try to hold my ground,
To keep my place
I try to keep my head up high,
Not turn away,
And not to cry
To never show that I feel so
Displaced.
It isn't easy when
Everything is falling on you, and from you,
Again, and again.
It isn't easy when
The wind is biting, and piercing
And your eyes are fighting
To stay open
And even when they close they feel
So cold and dry.
But still I fight because
I want to win this race.
I want to say I tried
With all my might,
With all my strength.
I want never to give in,
I want to take the prize,
I want to win this race.
I try to hold my ground,
To keep my place
I try to keep my head up high,
Not turn away,
And not to cry
To never show that I feel so
Displaced.
It isn't easy when
Everything is falling on you, and from you,
Again, and again.
It isn't easy when
The wind is biting, and piercing
And your eyes are fighting
To stay open
And even when they close they feel
So cold and dry.
But still I fight because
I want to win this race.
I want to say I tried
With all my might,
With all my strength.
I want never to give in,
I want to take the prize,
I want to win this race.
Struggles
... 2 Nephi 4:18
Why even when our greatest desires are to do good, it is still so difficult not to wander off the path that God would have us follow? Why do sins so easily beset me? Jesus was certainly right when he said, "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak".
Nonetheless, as Nephi also said - "I know in whom I have trusted. My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions...he hath filled me with his love." (2 Nephi 4:19-21)
The more I live, the more I realize just how much forgiveness is a gift from Christ for ALL of us, for which we all have great need, because we all make mistakes, and we all commit sins which cause ourselves and others harm. I realize more and more that repentence is one of the first principles of the gospel because it is an absolutely essential process for each of us, that we might come to a knowledge of our wrongs, that we might be humble, that we might learn to overcome them, and that we might be washed clean through Christ's atoning sacrifice.
"All we like sheep have gone astray"... but through Christ, "though our sins be as scarlet, they shall be white as snow, though they be as crimson, they shall be as wool."
This is a great comfort to me as I stumble through this road they call "Life", that even though I make mistakes, though I falter and I fall again and again and again - I know that if I keep trying, if I keep looking with steadfastness towards Christ, eventually he will help me to overcome all of my weaknesses.
Jesus said: "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)
And in Ether he said:
"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." (Ether12: 27)
Oh, how I want God to make my weaknesses strong! But I know I must be patient and trust in him.
One of my very favorite scriptures is Moroni 7:48:
"Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons [and daughters!] of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure.
Amen.
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