Sometimes the pathway to follow is not very clear. Sometimes it seems like God lets us wander around in the murk for a while before he gives us any answers. Sometimes it seems like the questions we have wondered for years will be the ones that might never be answered, that we will have to "wait until the next life" to find. Need it be this way? I have heard it said, "Everyone that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened". I suppose these words give no indication as to exactly "when" we shall receive the answers we seek, but that eventually they will come. Perhaps if we were to seek more diligently we could find more of the answers which we desire.
To seek implies work, it implies a period of time, a period of searching, of wandering. In the process of some of my quests for truth, I have observed myself learn lessons I was not seeking, but it seems the Lord intended for me.
Sometimes it seems we are kept from the truth we seek for a time, in order that we become aware of other truths that only God knew we needed to know.
Sometimes wrong choices, if reflected upon, can lead us to the right ones, or at the very least, to better ones.
Should we try to make wrong choices then? I don't think so. We are certain to make enough of them as we try to make the right ones.
We can live our entire lives based on many true precepts, but a few false ones can cause a lot of heartache and missed opportunities. I would like to avoid this, if possible. And yet, I know that every experience, or lack thereof, is an experience in and of itself. And I know God gives all his blessings to each of his children who seek them, eventually - but some blessings may not be given to some until the next life. Sometimes it is because of choices we make, sometimes it is because of choices others make, sometimes it is because of a natural occurrence - a sickness, or accident, or something else, that we having blessings taken from us, or never have the chance to receive them. But eventually I believe everyone will have the opportunity to receive every good thing.
I believe there is a source of pure truth, that there is a divine being/beings who know everything there is to know, and that this being's desire is for my learning and growth and happiness.
I seek truth. I desire learning, I desire growth, in every shape and form.
I believe questioning is vital. Searching is vital. Seeking truth from God is vital. Seeking truth from experience is vital. Listening, and studying, pondering, and praying, is vital. One scripture I love says, "Seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom.... Seek learning, even by study, and also by faith".
I believe one of the main reasons God sent us to earth was to gain experience. He knows we cannot truly learn anything well but through experience. And so I ask myself, what are the experiences that would be best for me to have? What are the best ways to learn? To find happiness, to find love?
I believe in natural laws, and I believe in a God who didn't necessarily create natural laws, but abides perfectly in them. He understands the laws of nature, including the laws of spiritual nature such as happiness and misery, joy and sadness, pleasure and pain, justice and mercy, and he understands the actions and reactions that exist because of those laws.
I believe God abides perfectly in the law of love, which is what makes him God.
I believe it is our task to try to learn to also abide in the law of love, and that this is what brings us true happiness. And I believe that God gives us other laws, and guidelines to help us know how to abide in love. For instance..."Thou shalt not kill", "Thou shalt not covet", "Thou shalt not commit adultery", are all commandments to help us live the way love dictates. "Love is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked"... are others. And to "mourn with those who mourn, and comfort those who stand in need of comfort", is another. All of them stem from one beautiful law: to love.
I love truth, and I wish God could fill me completely with it right now. But I know we are all works in progress, and God cannot suddenly transform us into different people. He won't do this because he loves the people we are, and he doesn't want to just turn us into somebody different, but he wants us be become the person that he sees we have the potential to become. This is a natural process, which takes time. Just as a little child must learn and grow in the proper time, so must we (who are, after all, God's children), and he will not force the process upon us. It cannot work that way. We have to learn and grow and feel and experience and laugh and cry and love and live. And thus we grow, bit by bit by bit. And we can come to more and more realizations with time. We become older and wiser. And if we strive to become better people, we can do this, as well.
I am so grateful for a God who lets us live, who lets us make choices, who lets us be ourselves, who expects us to learn both by study and by faith and by experience.
I wish I could learn faster, but like the apostle Paul, I must learn "to be content in whatever circumstances I find myself". And all the while, I keep a hope in my heart for improvement, for progression.
I pray God will help me find all the answers which I seek.
