Our Deepest Trials

Have you ever been in a place before, where you are struggling, or suffering, and there is no one in the entire world whom you can talk to about it?  I've come to think that we all have been, or will come to be there at some point in our lives. 

That point where, there is a problem which only you can see, but is encompassing your entire being.  Whether it be a hurt, or a sickness, or a mental state, or an emotional pain caused by someone else, or by your own actions...

A loneliness, a loss, a deep heartache, a depression, an addiction, a deep confusion, an obsession.

One or all of these affect us all at some point or another. 

I have found myself in these states at various times in my life. First, as a child - feeling I had a problem that I could not reveal, or that I did not know how or whom to turn to.

And now sometimes I find myself in this state again.

Sometimes a deep pain invades us quite unexpectedely, and we are left shocked and helpless in some sort of crumpled heap, unable to lift ourselves up.  Sometimes it happens gradually, as we bend to choices which gradually become habits, then addictions.  Sometimes our thoughts seem to be our masters, and not we the masters of our thoughts.  Sometimes our minds don't seem to be in our own control.

To whom can we turn? When there is no refuge in the world?  When there are no answers?  When there is no known cure?

There is a place, a person, to which I have always, and will always continue to turn.

Sometimes there is only one balm in Gilead.   Sometimes there is only one place we can look for comfort, for direction.  Sometimes there is only one person who will understand.   Sometimes there is only one direction to look for help. 

This is my savior, Jesus Christ.

I love him with all my heart.

Tonight I am so grateful for him, for I know he is bearing me up.   Tonight I am so grateful for my faith, for my knowledge that he has always been there for me, that he will continue to be there for me, through whatever trial and hardship - whether internal or external -  that I may face. 

I know God hears and helps me when I pray.  I am so grateful for that.  Sometimes the answers come slowly. Sometimes they even come painfully.  But I know he answers.

And I pray tonight the answers come quickly.  I need God's love and support.  I need strength.  I need Jesus, my Savior, to care for me now as he has in times of old. 

Amen.