I feel so grateful to God today
Like everything is working out
Like everything is okay.

I feel so grateful that someone is mindful
Someone is watchful
Someone is kind, and taking care of me.

I feel so grateful,
Knowing that
Even when I cannot see the good in what is happening to me,
That someone has a grander vision,
That someone has a plan that will come clear to me, in time.

I feel so grateful to God today,
Today he helped me see
That everything is working out,
That everything is okay.

Tonight

I write to God
And ask him to make me a deal...

I lay out my fleece,
So to speak,
And ask Him to speak,
to me.

Could it be
That He
Will hear me?

Childish, perhaps...
But then -
Am I not His child?

Knock and It Shall Be Opened

Two days ago I was praying to God about my music.... asking him to please help me develop perfect pitch.  Perhaps it seems a silly prayer, but not to me!   I think this would help me so much, to feel so much more secure in my music, and to compose so much more quickly and easily.  I have been trying for so long to develop it, but have not yet succeeded.     I was praying that he would help me know what to do... how to practice, how to make make my ears become opened.

Then I turned open my scriptures (my combination of the Bible and Book of Mormon) and it just fell open to this verse in the Book of Mormon:

2 Nephi 32:3  Angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore, they speak the words of Christ. Wherefore, I said unto you, feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do.


Thinking about this scripture, and wondering how the words of Christ could possibly tell me all things what I should do... I decided to turn to a part of the Book of Mormon where the words of Christ himself are found, and again it fell open to a scripture, which also were the first words my eyes saw on the page:

3 Nephi Chapter 14:

 7 Ask, and it shall be given unto you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.

 8 For every one that asketh, receiveth; and he that seeketh, findeth; and to him that knocketh, it shall be opened.

 9 Or what man is there of you, who, if his son ask bread, will give him a stone?

 10 Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?

 11 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father who is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?

Do you think this was an answer meant for me this night?    I hope so, and I believe so...  

One of my other favorite scriptures in the Book of Mormon is this:

Moroni Chapter 7, verse 26: ...And as surely as Christ liveth he spake these words unto our fathers, saying: Whatsoever thing ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is good, in faith believing that ye shall receive, behold, it shall be done unto you.

When I was a child I had some experiences relating to this scripture that left an indelible impression on me, receiving many answers to my prayers - sometimes in miraculous ways.  Sometimes I feel like my faith was stronger and purer back then, that it was easier for me to ask God for things in prayer and not doubt at all that he would grant me what I desired.   I knew what I was asking for was good, and I knew God could, and somehow I knew he would grant it.  As I get older it seems to get more difficult to have this kind of simple faith.

And yet, still I seek answers through prayer...and now, though perhaps my faith is not quite as pure or innocent or undoubting as it used to be,  I still ask, sincerely believing that what I am asking for is a good thing, and that God has the power to help me obtain it.  

I believe he will...

I pray to God to open my ears.....  

And these are the sweet words I hear,

"Ask, and it shall be given you

Knock, and it shall be opened unto you

Seek and ye shall find,

For every one that asketh, receiveth

And he that seeketh, findeth

And to him that knocketh,

It shall be opened."

Such a beautiful thought that makes me feel so very happy. . .

Connection

Open
Mind -
To the truths of the Universe
Which are all around us
But simply waiting
For a passageway
To open up
Into our souls
Like a waterway
A beautiful canal
Being tediously dug
And built
Until one day
Finally -
The water breaks through
And everything
Flows.

Please
Keep building
This mind
Until every pathway in it
Connects
To the Ocean
of Truth.

(May 10, 2006)

I need thee

I am praying 
Here in my room, on my knees -
God, Thou seest me,
But why can I see not thee?

I am saying
Everything that is in my heart -
God, Thou hearest me
Yet Lord, why can't I hear thee?

I am pleading
For my eyes to be opened
To a greater light
God, thou knowest me
But why do I know not thee?

I am begging
For my mind to be lifted
To a greater height,
God thou teachest me,
But God, I cannot reach thee.

I am crying
For an answer to my prayers tonight -
But Lord I wait to feel thee.

Please, Lord
Do not leave me;
Do not leave me.
Thou art my Strength, my Hope, my Light,
And tonight, O God,
I need thee.

I feel as if

God placed His foot into the river

And said,

"Run"

And it ran to me.

I feel as if

God stood before the hearts of all His children

And said,

"Come"

And mine leapt from me. 

By Small and Simple Things

"By small and simple things are great things brought to pass."   Alma 37:6, The Book of Mormon

I have this scripture hanging on the wall next to my mirror... and I think about it often as I go to work practicing each day.  Sometimes the tediousness and minutia of the work becomes discouraging... but I always try to remember that great accomplishments come as the result of many small and often imperceptible steps.   

The words of this hymn come to my mind:

Press forward, Saints, with steadfast faith in Christ,
With hope’s bright flame alight in heart and mind,
With love of God and love of all mankind --
Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleliua!